Dips
Lets get started with the first food group, Dips. While not all of these would fall into my specific dip category, the likelihood of me putting enough time into this site to classify them the way I would argue them is unlikely.
Below we have a trio of spectacular options for chips. My all-time favorite is certainly the Frito-Lay Jalapeno and Cheddar. There are a number of reasons this heavily processed golden yellow "cheese" makes the top of my list. First and foremost, the can is critical. You know it is fresh because it has a peel back lid. Most importantly it is the size all other cheese dips should aspire to be. Commoners typically try to bring the Tostito's cheese dip into the conversation. It takes one look at their knuckles to see the cheese smothered all over their hand to realize that isn't a option. Tostitos, you have one of the better chips available but your jar is too deep and the lid inst big enough to even support your own chip. Your R&D department forgot to simply test dipping one of your own chips into the jar. If you think the correct response is that it is designed to be poured into a bowl than you have a lot more issues to work out than I can cover here.
Let's move on to Heluva Good's French Onion dip. I don't have as much to say about this as I did with my friend above. All you need to know about this dip is that it is the only thought you need to have when you wonder where you should put that pretzel or potato chip you are holding in your hand. If you come to the party with the cheapest chip you can find than you should expect to find yourself getting evil stares. This chip has strength. I suggest coming with a full ripple. If you go baked, you should go home.
I found it interesting when I was putting this section together that I even picked a salsa. However, as I sat here I realized that I always go with the same option when it is salsa time. I honestly don't even know if Chi-Chis still exists as a restaurant but either way they really don't need to as long as they keep putting out the most consistently impressive salsa on the shelves. I won't say that you can't whip up a great batch of homemade salsa and be happier but really who does that? FYI, their hot option is good as well but it is hot.
Below we have a trio of spectacular options for chips. My all-time favorite is certainly the Frito-Lay Jalapeno and Cheddar. There are a number of reasons this heavily processed golden yellow "cheese" makes the top of my list. First and foremost, the can is critical. You know it is fresh because it has a peel back lid. Most importantly it is the size all other cheese dips should aspire to be. Commoners typically try to bring the Tostito's cheese dip into the conversation. It takes one look at their knuckles to see the cheese smothered all over their hand to realize that isn't a option. Tostitos, you have one of the better chips available but your jar is too deep and the lid inst big enough to even support your own chip. Your R&D department forgot to simply test dipping one of your own chips into the jar. If you think the correct response is that it is designed to be poured into a bowl than you have a lot more issues to work out than I can cover here.
Let's move on to Heluva Good's French Onion dip. I don't have as much to say about this as I did with my friend above. All you need to know about this dip is that it is the only thought you need to have when you wonder where you should put that pretzel or potato chip you are holding in your hand. If you come to the party with the cheapest chip you can find than you should expect to find yourself getting evil stares. This chip has strength. I suggest coming with a full ripple. If you go baked, you should go home.
I found it interesting when I was putting this section together that I even picked a salsa. However, as I sat here I realized that I always go with the same option when it is salsa time. I honestly don't even know if Chi-Chis still exists as a restaurant but either way they really don't need to as long as they keep putting out the most consistently impressive salsa on the shelves. I won't say that you can't whip up a great batch of homemade salsa and be happier but really who does that? FYI, their hot option is good as well but it is hot.
Nachos
Clearly the people that created the food groups were not that organized. I would never allow cross-over in food groups but clearly the Dip food group overlaps the Nacho food group. Here is what you need to know about nachos:
While there are plenty of options for toppings, most people go way overboard. I would go ahead and say that I don't think I have ever seen the perfect nacho. The closest I have come to that was with fellow nacho expert Mark Breier in Dewey Beach Delaware at Nalu Hawaiian Surf Bar and Grille. They made the same mistake that most do but it was a strong effort. The correct way to make a restaurant nacho is to go wide. That is correct, you need a huge plate. The best effort I have seen in this area was a crab tray. Any nacho can be great with the first few chips on the top but the key to a great nacho is what happens half way in. Do you need to do the flip? Are the chips soggy? Is there an ounce of anything on them? Going wide allows you to disperse the cheese the way it needs to be for even melting and equal topping distribution. If you want to impress me someone needs to do the following: Wide platter, don't you dare go tri-colored chip, cheese on every chip but don't cover the entire thing, salsa distributed generously but evenly, scallions may be allowed if they are small enough. Here is where we separate the men from the boys, go with an alternating sour cream / guac rotation in blobs around the outside. I want to determine how much of each I get with each bite. Finally, for the cheese, if you put whiz on it please close my website immediately, build a sign that says "Joe High Not Allowed" and put it in front of your restaurant.
While there are plenty of options for toppings, most people go way overboard. I would go ahead and say that I don't think I have ever seen the perfect nacho. The closest I have come to that was with fellow nacho expert Mark Breier in Dewey Beach Delaware at Nalu Hawaiian Surf Bar and Grille. They made the same mistake that most do but it was a strong effort. The correct way to make a restaurant nacho is to go wide. That is correct, you need a huge plate. The best effort I have seen in this area was a crab tray. Any nacho can be great with the first few chips on the top but the key to a great nacho is what happens half way in. Do you need to do the flip? Are the chips soggy? Is there an ounce of anything on them? Going wide allows you to disperse the cheese the way it needs to be for even melting and equal topping distribution. If you want to impress me someone needs to do the following: Wide platter, don't you dare go tri-colored chip, cheese on every chip but don't cover the entire thing, salsa distributed generously but evenly, scallions may be allowed if they are small enough. Here is where we separate the men from the boys, go with an alternating sour cream / guac rotation in blobs around the outside. I want to determine how much of each I get with each bite. Finally, for the cheese, if you put whiz on it please close my website immediately, build a sign that says "Joe High Not Allowed" and put it in front of your restaurant.
Cheese
I have started taking pictures of the menu when I find a great cheese because I have no idea how to shop for cheese. The following are amazing.